16. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through”15. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.” 14. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.” 13. “If you run, you’ll only [...]
These are actual comments made on students’ report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, boy, are these funny!!! 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.2. I would not allow this student to breed. 3. Your child [...]
When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three [...]
There will be no Nativity Scene in the United State Congress this year! The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States capital this Christmas season. This isn’t for any religious reason, they simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the [...]
Many of you will recall that on July 8, 1947–some 60 years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside of Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air [...]
One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue , where he’d been sitting on a park bench.He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton. The Marine replied, “Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and [...]
1. Create a new file folder on your computer. 2. Name it ‘Hillary Rodham Clinton’. 3. Drag it to the recycle bin. 4. Empty the recycle bin. 5. Your PC will ask you, ‘Do you really want to get rid of ‘Hillary Rodham Clinton?’ 6. Firmly Click ‘Yes.’ 7. Feel better instantly. Next week, try [...]
