A nurse walks into a bank, preparing to endorse a check. She reaches in her pocket and pulls out a rectal thermometer and tries to write with it. She looks up at the teller, pauses for a moment, then realizing her mistake, she says, “Well that’s great. Some asshole’s got my pen.” === A priest, [...]
An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes [...]
Polar bears are in trouble. The melting of the Arctic is killing them. Some are already starving and drowning. If global warming is allowed to continue, the Arctic will be entirely ice-free during the summer, dooming polar bears to extinction. And as you may have seen in the news this past week, federal bureaucrats are illegally [...]
A lot of folks can’t understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. Well, there’s a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn’t know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. Our OIL is located in Alaska, California, Coastal Florida, Coastal [...]
This is grrrreat!! Marine asks taxi driver to tell the insurgents where they are because they’re getting bored. …and that the insurgents should hurry up because they’ll only be there for another hour! [kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/pXboCmw5ql8" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs; in other words, redistribution of wealth. She was deeply ashamed [...]
A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner’s wife to the bed, the [...]
