Archive for September, 2008
How the fight started
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.....so, I took her to a gas station..... and that's how the fight started....I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold [...]
$85 Billion Bailout
I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a 'We Deserve It Dividend'. To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+. Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at [...]
Cross Dresser Dumbshit
Dragged To Jail According to the Smoking Gun Prostitution sting nets self-described "passable crossdresser" SEPTEMBER 26--Meet Peter Abramczyk. The Connecticut man, 39, was arrested yesterday in an undercover prostitution sting that was prompted by a Craigslist ad reporting the availability of a "passable crossdresser." Abramczyk, pictured in [...]
Baked Stuffed Chicken
Here is a chicken recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing -- imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try. 4 - 5 lb. Chicken 1 cup melted butter 1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is [...]
Man Arrested for Farting
SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) - A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer. Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred [...]
Family gardening
An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Vincent, I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be [...]
Gambling 101
The IRS decides to audit Bubba, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Bubba shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable." "I'm a [...]
