Archive for April, 2009
HOW TO TELL IF YOU NEED TO PRAY AT WORK
When a co-worker comes in a little too happy singing "good morning" to everyone and you think, "Somebody needs to slap the s*** out of her"... You need to pray at work. When someone comes in and announces, "Office meeting in 5 minutes," and you think, "what the f*** do they want now?" ...You need to pray at work. When your computer is [...]
Bullshit and Brillance
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The [...]
Another Obama Joke
Barak Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing, and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful that he offered the kids whatever they wanted. The first kid said, "I want to go to [...]
Confucius Says:
Confucius Says: *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run in front of car get tired. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man who run behind car get exhausted. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give [...]
The Year was 1850
Do you know what happened 159 years ago this fall... back in 1850? California became a state. The people had no electricity. The state had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets. So basically nothing has changed, except women had real breasts and men didn't hold hands.
