Poor drunk Ralph

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter said, “You died in your sleep, Ralph.”
Ralph was stunned. “I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!”
St. Peter said, “I’m [...]

DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

Innovative
Preliminary 
Proliferation 
Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

Specificity 
Anti-constitutionalistically
Passive-aggressive disorder 
Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

No thanks, I’m married. 
Nope, no more booze for me! 
Sorry, but you’re not really my type. 
Taco Bell? No thanks, I’m not hungry. 
Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight? 
Oh, I couldn’t! No [...]

Florida man beans mom with polish sausage

This is real!  As reported by the Smoking Gun, some tool decided to throw a 3lb bag of meat at his Mom!
Wtf?  This is the kind of crap that gives Rednecks a bad name!

Women Are Evil By Nature…

Another good one from Cheers!
A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
‘Are you the manager?’ she asked, softly stroking his [...]

The effects of alcohol (in pix episode 2)

 

 

The effects of alcohol (in pix)

Priceless… Don’t you love Mastercard for starting this?

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after a night at a business function.He forces himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table.
And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits down and sees his clothing in [...]

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