The Patriot Micro Chip

THE PATRIOT MICRO CHIP is intended to be implanted in terrorists.
The implant is specifically designed to be installed in the forehead.
When it is properly installed it will allow the ‘implantee’ to speak to God.

It comes in various sizes:

The implantee may or may not be allowed to choose the size.
The implant may or may not be [...]

Brilliant British humor…

From my buddy in London.  …and apologies in advance for the long post!
Moses went to mount olive…
So Popeye punched him.
What has a whole nut in very bite…
Squirrel shit.

OK, I’m done.

Why, Why, Why…

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
 
Why do [...]

$7 Sex

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist’s office.
The doctor asks, “What can I do for you?”The man says, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?”
The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees. When the [...]

Religious Jokes

Catholic
SITTING BEHIND A COUPLE OF NUNS (WHOSE HABITS PARTIALLY BLOCKED THEIR VIEW) AT A Detroit Red Wing Hockey GAME, THREE MEN DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS IN AN EFFORT TO GET THEM TO MOVE.
IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID, “I THINK I’M GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH, THERE ARE ONLY 100 NUNS [...]

A ‘post turtle’?! Only from Texas! haHAAAAAA!!!!

While suturing a cut on the hand of a Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President.
The old rancher said, “Well, ya know, Obama is a ‘post [...]

Polish Divorce

This just in…
Polish Divorce
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would [...]

keep looking »