‘Jokes’ Archives
The Knob
A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told her about a new procedure called 'The Knob,' where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob.' Over the course of years, the woman tightened the knob, and the [...]
How concerned are you with H1N1?
I'm not really concerned about swine flu. Here's my concern: 3 years ago, Chinese calendar year of the cow .....Mad Cow disease. 2 years ago, Chinese calendar year of the bird .....Avian flu. This year, Chinese calendar year of the pig .... swine flu. Next year is the year of the cock ..........Anybody else worried?
10 things to think about…2009
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted. Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person [...]
I love blonde jokes…
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????" T-SHIRT A blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I.F. Tee-shirt. 'Why are you wearing [...]
Best Craig’s List post of all time!
To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last. Date: 2009-05-27, 1:43 A M EST. I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend threatening our lifes. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that [...]
An Italian Boy’s Confession
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'. The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation' Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me [...]
Chinese laundry, use more soap
A woman sends her clothing out to the Chinese laundry. When it comes back there are still stains in her panties. The next week she encloses a note to the Chinaman that says, "Use more soap on panties." This goes on for several weeks, the woman sending the same note to the laundry. Finally fed up the Chinaman responded with his own note that [...]
