A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet. Then the woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The [...]
When a co-worker comes in a little too happy singing “good morning” to everyone and you think, “Somebody needs to slap the s*** out of her”… You need to pray at work. When someone comes in and announces, “Office meeting in 5 minutes,” and you think, “what the f*** do they want now?” …You need [...]
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa , taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of [...]
Barak Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing, and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful that he offered the kids whatever they [...]
Do you know what happened 159 years ago this fall… back in 1850? California became a state. The people had no electricity. The state had no money. Almost everyone spoke Spanish. There were gunfights in the streets. So basically nothing has changed, except women had real breasts and men didn’t hold hands.
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bob says to Mike behind him, ‘My elbow hurts like the dickens!! I guess I’d better see a doctor.’ ‘Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,’ Mike replies. ‘There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer [...]
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter said, “You died in your sleep, Ralph.” Ralph was stunned. “I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!” St. Peter [...]
