A little boy goes to his dad and asks, ‘What is Politics?’ Dad says, ‘Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I am the head of the family, so call me The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so! we call her the Government. We are here to take [...]
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive…..so, I took her to a gas station….. and that’s how the fight started….I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her [...]
An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: Dear Vincent, I [...]
The IRS decides to audit Bubba, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Bubba shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS [...]
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, ‘We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!’ So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a [...]
On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch. When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, ‘It’s Lent’. In tears she sobbed, ‘Well, [...]
What are the small bumps around a woman’s nipples for? It’s braille for ‘suck here’. What is an Australian Kiss? It’s the same as a French Kiss but down under. What do you do with 365 used condoms? Melt them into a tire and call it a Goodyear. Why were hurricanes normally named after women? [...]
