A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, “Ah, I’m glad to see you’ve regained consciousness. You probably won’t remember, but you were in a huge pileup on the freeway. You’re going to be okay, you’ll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed [...]
Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St.Peter said, “You died in your sleep, Ralph.” Ralph was stunned. “I’m dead? No, I can’t be! I’ve got too much to live for. Send me back!” St. Peter [...]
The newly weds were only married two weeks, when the husband said to the wife, ‘Honey I’m going to Hank’s Tavern to have a beer, I’ll be right back’. ‘Where are you going, Coochy Coo?’ asked the wife. ‘I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face,’ he answered. ‘I’m going to have a beer..’ The wife [...]
The other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’ I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’ Well, the hours passed and the margarita’s went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, [...]
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive…..so, I took her to a gas station….. and that’s how the fight started….I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her [...]
On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch. When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, ‘It’s Lent’. In tears she sobbed, ‘Well, [...]
When You’ve Been Married Too Long Three women: one engaged, one married and one a Mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. After a few days they meet up for Lunch. The engaged [...]
