Georgia

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000 minus 14%, how much would you take off?”

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, “Everything but my earrings.”

Tennessee

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, “Got any ID?” The driver replied, “Bout whut?”

Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.

The Sheriff asked, “Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don’t you see that sign right over your head?”

“Yep”, he replied. “That’s why I dumpin it here, cause it says: ‘Fine For Dumping Garbage’.”

You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving North.