$7 Sex

Posted on June 30, 2008 by HowleyKook
Filed Under Jokes, Love, Marriage, Money, Sex | Leave a Comment

A Florida couple, both well into their 80s, go to a sex therapist’s office.
The doctor asks, “What can I do for you?”The man says, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?”

The doctor raises both eyebrows, but he is so amazed that such an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice that he agrees. When the couple finishes, the doctor says, “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with
the way you have intercourse.”

He thanks them for coming, he wishes them good luck, he charges them $50 and he says good
bye. The next week, the couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but agrees.

This happens several weeks in a row.

The couple makes an appointment, has intercourse with no problems, pays the doctor, then leave…

Finally, after 3 months of this routine, the doctor says, “I’m sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?”

The man says, “We’re not trying to find out anything. She’s married and we can’t go to her house. I’m married and we can’t go to my house.

The Holiday Inn charges $98. The Hilton charges $139.

We do it here for $50, and I get $43 back from Medicare.

Religious Jokes

Posted on June 30, 2008 by HowleyKook
Filed Under Jokes, Nonsense, WTF? | Leave a Comment

Catholic

SITTING BEHIND A COUPLE OF NUNS (WHOSE HABITS PARTIALLY BLOCKED THEIR VIEW) AT A Detroit Red Wing Hockey GAME, THREE MEN DECIDED TO BADGER THE NUNS IN AN EFFORT TO GET THEM TO MOVE.

IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, THE FIRST GUY SAID, “I THINK I’M GOING TO MOVE TO UTAH, THERE ARE ONLY 100 NUNS LIVING THERE.”

THE SECOND GUY SPOKE UP AND SAID, “I WANT TO GO TO MONTANA, THERE ARE ONLY 5O NUNS LIVING THERE.”

THE THIRD GUY SAID, “I WANT TO GO TO IDAHO, THERE ARE ONLY 25 NUNS LIVING THERE

ONE OF THE NUNS TURNED AROUND, LOOKED AT THE MEN, AND IN A VERY SWEET, CALM VOICE SAID, “WHY DON’T YOU GO TO HELL THERE AREN’T ANY NUNS THERE.”

Muslim

Guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable sex doll.
Guy behind the counter says, ‘Male or female?’
Customer says, ‘Female’
Counter guy asks, ‘Black or white?’
Customer says, ‘White’
Counter guy asks, ‘Christian or Muslim?’
Customer says, ‘What the hell does religion have to do with it?’
Counter guy says, ‘The Muslim one blows itself up’.

Jewish (Catholic too)

A rabbi and a priest are standing at a bus stop when a 9 year old boy runs across the street in front of them.

Say’s the priest to the rabbi “I’d love to screw that!”

To which the rabbi promptly asks “Out of what?”

The Original Shovelmouth Spotted in NYC…

Posted on June 27, 2008 by HowleyKook
Filed Under Celebrity, Music | Leave a Comment

The lead singer Stephen Favarato of the hard pounding “indy” band PIPE spends a few hours hangin’ out with yours truly from Homegrown Media in NYC. Talk about good time. This dude is a no bullshit, serious as nails musician. Stephen got a taste for “real” metal in the 80’s and 90’s covering the likes of Hendrix, Alice in Chains, Queensryche, Zeppelin, and Judas Priest just to mention a few.

He carried his passion all the way to Amsterdam, where he could “appreciate” things from a different perspective, resulting in a raunchy growl that only comes from intense work.

With the release of their new album Shovelmouth out Favarato remains humble and points to his PIPE counterparts for his inspiration and any future success, especially the other founding member of the band, a wicked guitar freak from NY named Frank Damiano, whose riffs will rattle your spine!

According to Favarato it was a natural fit for he and Frank to hook up with drummer Keith Homel with his emotional “KICK YOUR ASS” driving sound! Rounding out this bunch of misfits is the real aficionado Wayne Landino, a bassist and vocalist with the resume from hell.

This is a must see show. Check out PIPE’s schedule, GO SEE THEM… GET YOUR ASS KICKED!

Scroll down the page for a sample!

Thanks Stephen! Peace!

A ‘post turtle’?! Only from Texas! haHAAAAAA!!!!

Posted on June 27, 2008 by 49
Filed Under Jokes, Politics | Leave a Comment

While suturing a cut on the hand of a Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama and his bid to be our President.

The old rancher said, “Well, ya know, Obama is a ‘post turtle.’”
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a “post turtle” was.

The old rancher said, “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle’”.

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor’s face, so he continued to explain. “You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he is up there, and you just wonder what kind of a dumb ass put him up there in the first place.

===

Barack Obama, the lead Presidential Democratic Party candidate, is for banning all guns in America. He is considered by those who have dealt with him as a bit more than just a little self-righteous.

At a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas, he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.

Then he said into the microphone, “Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.”

Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said: “Well, dumb-ass, stop clapping!”